Nowadays when I surf social media I get a lot of statuses about fake friends. My wall gets rumbled by cheesy fake friends quotes. It seems like everyone is becoming selfish, how “real love” or “real friendship” is becoming so rare and most importantly how ‘fake friends’ are becoming our only friends.
Now, for me, friendship is a relationship where there is a minimal amount of selfishness is involved. We see friends who celebrate fifty years of friendship. We see friends who sacrifice themselves for their friends. But still, it seems like in our own lives, we don’t get the same treatment from our friends that we see in other’s lives. We begin to get bitter about our friends, we begin to complain about how life is so unfair and we only have fake friends. So, what’s the issue here?
Table of Contents
- Life happens
- Jealousy
- Miscommunication
- In the end only a few matters
Life happens
This is the most important, simplest, and rather boring reason why it seems like fake friends are increasing. You see, everyone has their own life-story to write and follow. Most of us start our lives in a simple mode. As our ages increase the mode gradually starts to shift into a more complex mode. We become busy with our own lives. We start to do lots of stuff. Friends, who were so close to us, become distant. That’s how life plays out. We make some friends, then we lose them, and then we meet new people and the loop continues to play until we die. No matter how hard you try, you can’t dedicate your whole day to think about all of your friends and also your other problems. It’s not possible. So we prioritize to choose people to care about. In a hindsight, it seems like a selfish way to deal with people. But that’s just life.
Jealousy is not Friendship
Recently I see many people are posting statuses or posts like “Best friend if you leave me alone/ if you do this/do that alone, I’ll kill you!” The funny thing is, in my observation, this type of person usually posts stuff like “I have fake friends everywhere.” In those cases, these people generally think that they are ‘entitled’ to have their friends. So, if their friends do anything simple like hanging out with other persons, they become furious and think that their friends have abandoned them. Sometimes, their poor friends do stuff to make these entitled people happy. It only makes these entitled people’s egos stronger and they believe that they are right. In a healthy friendship, people are friends because they choose to be in that relationship. They know that they don’t owe anyone but they have connections and like to stay together.
Miscommunication is not friendship
Like jealousy, miscommunication also can destroy a beautiful friendship. Most of us like to maintain a big fat ego. So, when things need to be sorted out and talked through, we don’t do it because why should we! We wait for the other person to come and talk, to apologize but we don’t accept that yeah maybe we can also be wrong. We put this ‘self-righteous’ image in front of us, but deep inside we are being destroyed day by day. Even if, deep inside, we are dying to resolve the issue, we choose not to. But, in the end, we want to remain the “right” one. So, we justify our behavior by labeling those friends as “fake friends”!
In the end only a few matters
Six months ago, I was suffering from massive depression. My life was changed, many big changes occurred at the same time. I was scared, my confidence level was utterly destroyed and my self-esteem was super low. But in those moments some of my very close friends were beside me, they kept supporting me and they didn’t leave me. They didn’t sugarcoat the situation or gave me any false hope. They showed me the reality but gave me the strength to live through it. And guess what? I got through that phase.
In our lives, we meet many people, we make many friends. But not everyone stays. It doesn’t mean they are evil or selfish. It just means that those people weren’t compatible with us. But there will be a few people who will be there for us. They will support us and help us in our dark times. You may face some temporary unavailability, but deep inside you will know that they will not leave you.
In the end, they matter.
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